My cat Patrick has a webpage on Catster. He had a lot of Catster friends, and they were all so sweet and supportive when he was battling cancer and writing about it in his diary. (Well, I was writing about it in his diary.)
Anyway, one of Patrick's Catster friends sent me a Catmail (PM) today.
Sent: Thu Aug 17
Subject: Patrick's Mom
Hi, I was just looking thought all of my friends, and there was Patrick's picture. I told Mom that I would like to go on vacation and sit on your lap. Mom said it would be over a day in the C-A-R. That's that big scary thing that takes me to the vet. So I WON'T be doing that. But I did want to drop in, and wish you a great day. Mom said her Fibromyalgia has been kicking up so she hopes that you are feeling well.
We are still holding out hope that you will adopt a new kitty who needs your love, but we respect you for considering it a very important thing and considering it carefully. After all, Kittys are a life time commitment!
(Shyla was one of Patrick's best Catster friends.) So I replied:
What a pleasant surprise to get Catmail from you. I'm so glad to hear from you and know you are doing okay. I'm sorry that your mom's fibromyalgia is acting up these days. That roller coaster ride isn't much fun. I'll send her some good vibes.
I'm hanging in there myself, in spite of the ups and downs. I still think about Patrick every day and send him some hugs and kisses. I try to think about all the wonderfulness of our time together, but sometimes all I can think about is what went wrong. I know there's no point to thinking about the bad times, but sometimes I can't help it. When that happens I try to focus on the better times instead, because that's what's most important. But no matter what, every day I feel deeply grateful for all he helped me learn about the true meaning of unconditional love.
Each week when I volunteer for the San Francisco SPCA I look at the cats available for adoption. I pet them and brush them, and if they feel like it I play with them, and I ever so carefully test the waters to see if anyone might be "the one." Every once in a blue moon I'll sense a faint spark with a particular cat, but when I search my heart all I find is a place that needs healing still; not yet a place to properly take in a new little feline loved one.
How sweet of you to wish to come and visit me! That made me smile. You and your mom are welcome to visit any time, and I promise to make my lap as comfy as possible (for you, not for your mom :P ).
Take care, both. :)
It was an honor to be Patrick's mom. I find it somewhat strange to still be "Patrick's Mom," especially since there is no more Patrick to be a mom to. I don't mind, really. It's just something I never envisioned would be an on-going identity for me. After all, I sang Patrick's last cat song well over a year ago, and I thought it was done. But the song still echoes. Patrick's spirit must be strong indeed.