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Pahavit's Universe

Date: 6-9-2005 10:42 PM
Subject: Leftover kibble
Security: Public
Tags:cat, kibble, patrick, pigeon
Leftover kibble

There is leftover kibble, fish flavor and chicken flavor. I don't want to throw it away, so every evening I've been tossing a handful out my window for the pigeons and other birds to eat.

I actually started doing this when Patrick was sick and would eat hardly any of what I left out for him. Rather than throw it away I tossed it out the window, and birds would stop by to eat. I'm amazed that seed-eating and insect-eating birds will eat fish-flavored cat food. I'm even more amazed they'll eat chicken-flavored cat food. They're eating *another bird*, for heaven's sake.

Each evening at sundown a big fat glossy pigeon lands on my fire escape. I suspect it's looking for the few kibbly bits that don't fall all the way down to the sidewalk. Perhaps it has already eaten the ones on the sidewalk by then. It also seems to be building a nest on the ledge above my bay window, because I see little twigs from the nearby mayten trees piling up on the fire escape underneath.

I'm torn between keeping the bag to dole it out handful by handful each evening, and donating it to the feral cat food bank at the SPCA. I already donate canned food there each month anyway, but they say they'll take already-opened bags of kibble as well.

I'll wait till next week to make a decision. I've had so many tough choices to make lately that I don't want to struggle with making up my mind about something not life-and-death right now. Plus, it's oddly comforting knowing that even if Patrick couldn't derive nourishment from the kibble, at least some neighborhood birdies will.

And, to be honest, it's a continuation of a behavior from when he was still alive. I think that's the real reason I'm reluctant to stop doing it. It's like a part of him will still be alive if I keep on doing an activity related to taking care of him. (See? I can still feed an animal and it doesn't reject it! It eagerly consumes it! I can still feed an animal and it stays alive! I'm not a horrible failure after all!)

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